The Motion(less) Picture Trailer for

Behold in awe and amazement, this typical display of unshakable courage
from the so-called Lynn "Li'l Lynn" Herr, herself!

...who, as the hero of our story, has nerves of steel, a hunter's instincts...

...and cat-like reflexes, which is fortunate, considering the company she keeps:

[1] Celesta "Aunt Celly" Herr, seen here in these acceleratingly high-octane action shots...

...and [2] little Ashley Weir, a.k.a. Everyone's Most Favorite Person Ever...

...both of whom have always gotten along splendidly well with each other
and would never cause unnecessary stress for everyone they know...

...but pale in comparison to [3] the imposingly robust and stately Colossus the Towering,
famed throughout the land as much for his wise counsel as for his sense of style...

...who teaches Lynn the appropriate response to all of this petty arguing and bickering...

...which is just the sort of conflict that Ashley and Lynn's favorite television program,
"The Lab Master & Kittyson Show,"
shamelessly exploits  cleverly utilizes for merchandizing...

...such as this very tasteful (pun intended) Kittyson cookie jar!

(Does not actually improve the flavor of cookies stored therein.
Officially licensed "Lab Master and Kittyson" cookies are sold separately)...

(Um, that is, they're sold separately from the jar, not from each other.
They come in packs, I mean, in amounts that are nutritionally balanced, in a manner of speaking.)

...and this life-sized Kittyson doll!

(does not actually talk)...

...which upon being combined with the matching Lab Master doll and luxurious Kittyson bedsheets
(in addition to yet unpurchased items of which the poverty-stricken child in the above illustration has been deprived),
gives much-needed solace to the most innocent and vulnerable denizens of this cruel,
merciless, cold-hearted, utterly sadistic, pointless world...

...of which we are all prisoners shackled by the inherent weakness of mortal flesh
and tormented by the inscrutable riddle of human existence... we trust that you will not be lured in by the writhing, wriggling worm which is
harpooned upon the envenomed iron hook (also rusty) of non-franchize products, such as this horrid frock,
which radiates with the stench of a pestilent garden weed...

...or by the siren call to destruction that emanates from this...
typewriter...? briefcase...? pleated piano...?

...or by the use of legally controlled yet affordably priced and much appreciated
mood-improving substances that are always eager to lend a helping hand...

...and are willing to validate the urge of anyone who could really go for a...


...but rather, that you will be motivated to greatness by the inspirational example of Li'l Lynn herself,
who says "NO!" to decadent fashion, inadequate performance, and recreational chemicals!

...or it might, upon second thought, be better to follow Aunt Celly's lead in maintaining
an active lifestyle, an optimistic outlook, and a calm demeanor...?

...or maybe Ashley's shining example of personal responsibility and consideration for the
expensive property and delicate feelings of others...?

No, we are certain, this time: the sophisticated, highly educated, utterly dependable Lab Master...!

Not him, either!? Then who else is there...?

No, not Kittyson! Please, anyone but Kittyson! You can't possibly be serious!

Just look at how he cowers at handling incurable medical hazards, and bitterly complains about
extended hospital confinement, and collapses into a groveling, pathetic heap in anticipation of
being disgraced and expelled from...

Hmm... You know what? He might be on to something.


Will our eponymous protagonist Lynn "Li'l Lynn" Herr open her heart to friends and family...
or continue being satisfied with life?

Will her number one fan and dedicated stalker Ashley Weir walk a mile in other people's shoes...
while trudging through the mud?

Will the sexually frustrated Celesta "Aunt Celly" Herr reel in a fine catch during her fishing trip...
or end up at the aquarium again?

Will the sedentary old dog Colossus settle for just being an athletic young pup at heart?

Will Lab Master manage to resist the savory temptress of vengeance upon Kittyson,
his peppy young lab assistant?

These ulterior motives and more are questioned in this indeed very questionable

by Charles Shearer



Li'l Lynn: The Joy of Childhood and Other Myths

Li'l Lynn Tells It HerselfBig Little Lynn